Camp OUAT
by thenerdyfangirl
Summary: An AU SwanQueen fic I just thought up on a whim. Emma Swan goes to camp after being forced to by her mother. What happens when she meets a certain Regina Mills? Rated M for some language and adult stuff, I guess.
1. Chapter 1

When her mother dropped a flimsy brochure on the table during breakfast one Tuesday morning, Emma Swan dropped her spoon into her cereal bowl with a clatter, groaning.

"Not another one, Mom," she whined, pushing away her unfinished Cheerios.

"Yes, another one, Emma," Mary-Margaret slid the packet closer to her daughter and placing her forearms on the edge of the table.

"But I don't want to!" Emma complained, half-heartedly flipping through the pages.

"It's a chance for you to get out of the house, make some new friends, you know," she shrugged, "have fun."

"These stupid camps won't do that!" Emma sat back in her chair gloomily.

"It's better than sitting around here playing video games and drinking hot chocolate, honey." Mary-Margaret said.

"With cinnamon," Emma grumbled, crossing her arms.

Her mother laughed, "Yes, with cinnamon. But that doesn't change the fact that, well, you're... a hermit."

"I'm not a hermit!" Emma scoffed.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not!"

"Just give it a try. You don't even know what will happen! Do this once, and I'll get out of your hair, okay?" Mary-Margaret took Emma's forgotten bowl and stood up, her chair squeaking loudly on the tile.

Emma dropped her head on the table and sighed, "Fine, I'll go to this dumb camp."

Her mother looked back at Emma in surprise, shocked that she gave in so quickly, "Oh, well, the application is in there, just mail it in by tomorrow, okay?"

Picking up the packet and her bag, Emma stalked out the door, mumbling, "Cinnamon _and_ whip cream."

…...

"And you _agreed_?" Emma's best friend, Ruby Lucas, was aghast, "But I thought you swore never to go to one of these lame-ass camps."

Emma kicked a pinecone on the sidewalk, "She's been pestering me for like, six years. Eventually, I would have had to have said yes. And this one's only for the weekend. I'll be fine."

Ruby rolled her eyes, "Is it even a cool one?"

"I don't know, I didn't really look at it." Emma fished in her backpack, pulling out the crumpled application, "Here, read it."

Ruby sighed and took the paper, "So.. opportunities... courses... we're the best... leadership... Wait a minute. _Leadership_? Emma, you freaking agreed to go to a _leadership_ camp?!"

Emma snatched the packet from her hands, shrieking, "What?!"

"Yeah, you moron! You said you would go to a camp you didn't know anything about?"

Emma was staring incredulously at the application.

"Well, it's your problem now, Swan. You're lucky it's only a weekend. Last year, my grandma made me go to a two-week long one that was literally about being nice to people. Now _that_ was shitty. The best part of it was meeting that really hot senior I was talking to you about." Ruby looked into the distance dreamily.

"I can't believe I'm going to this!" Emma whined, shoving the packet back in her bag, "That's the first weekend of summer ruined for me!"

Ruby was suddenly intrigued by something across the street, not interested in the conversation anymore.

"Ruby? Are you listening to me?" Emma waved her hand in front of her friend's face.

"Oh? Um... yeah, that sucks. Uh... I, on the other hand, am going to California for two weeks after school's out. I can't wait! Beaches, hot sun, city lights, and all the guys! I'm so glad to be getting out of Storybrooke!" Ruby nearly squealed excitedly.

"Wow... sounds great," Emma huffed.

"Uh, so, yeah, I'll catch you later... I have to go do some stuff, okay?" Ruby already started across the street.

"See you later?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, maybe. And don't worry, Swan, you'll have a great summer sometime. Just be patient." Ruby flashed a thumbs-up and jogged away.

"Sure," Emma mumbled after casting a quick glance across the street to see Ruby's boyfriend.

As she was walking up the steps to the school, she looked back, and Ruby had already run behind a nearby house, hand locked with her boyfriend.

"Loser," Emma muttered.

…...

After stumbling through hours of boredom, it was finally lunch, Emma's favorite time of the day. It was the last day of school, and Emma was drained from finals.

Dropping her tray on the table with her friends Ruby and Belle, she slid into her seat and set her head down on the table in exhaustion.

"Done?" Belle French laughed and tapped Emma on the shoulder.

"Definitely." Emma said against the table.

"Well, you might want to wake up, because Ruby here was just telling me about her secret guy friend. Or, should I say, _friends_?" Belle shot a knowing look at Ruby.

"Not so secret to me." Emma lifted her head off the table and picked up her fork, "I saw her with one of them today before school."

"Oh, yeah, _him,_ " Ruby smiled, " I'm just Hopper's " _girlfriend_ " while he gives me the answers to both the Algebra and Chemistry finals. He'll do anything for a lousy kiss."

Emma rolled her eyes, and Belle asked, "And what about the other one?"

"Now Killian is another story. He's a senior - well, soon to be in college, but that's beside the point – and me and him met at a party last weekend, and, well, we just hit it off. And damn, is that boy a fine kisser." Ruby took a bite of salad, "But I've heard he has his eyes set on Miss Emma over there."

Emma raised her eyebrows and laughed, "Yeah, whatever, Ruby."

"No, seriously. He's with me for now, but he really wants to get down with you, sister." Ruby pointed her fork at Emma, "And, trust me, that hook is _killer_ in places you wouldn't expect."

Belle giggled, but Emma felt like punching a hole in the wall.

Ruby lowered her voice like she was telling a secret, "We met up last night while my parents were out, and for their sake, I hope they washed the sheets. Oh, and that desk... and the floor..."

Belle and Ruby muffled a laugh behind their hands, while Emma tried not to stab her chicken too angrily.

"What about you, Swan? Planning on having some fun at that stupid camp of yours?" Ruby said after she stopped laughing.

"I don't think so." Emma tried to focus anywhere but Ruby's face.

"C'mon, why not? I'm sure they''ll all want some action with the hot blonde." Ruby winked.

Emma sighed.

"You know what, Belle? I think she's jealous that we've gotten laid and she hasn't." Ruby fake-whispered to Belle.

"Yeah, she's a little stuck-up, isn't she?" Belle whispered back.

"Shut the hell up." Emma warned, slightly taken aback that they were acting this way.

"She wants it, but she doesn't want to admit it."

"She wants that action with Killian, is what's up."

"Ruby, you're a slutty jerk. And Belle, getting laid by your dad's boss doesn't count. What is Gold, like, fifty? Your dad wanted the money." Emma snapped and stood up, ignoring their shocked faces.

After dumping her tray, she strode toward the bathroom, locking herself in a stall. What had gotten into them? They never acted like this. They always used to just kind of set Ruby's adventures aside. She guessed that now since they were supposed to be seniors, they had to be "mature" and all that shit.

Maybe she would be welcoming that camp.


	2. Chapter 2

After Emma's mental breakdown, (she made a note to apologize for that later) she trudged through the rest of her finals, looking at the clock during every passing period. All she wanted to do was go home and watch some TV. Maybe she would take a nap.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave, and Emma was relieved that she didn't run into Belle or Ruby again. She didn't know what she would say.

She pushed her way through groups of rejoicing friends, overly emotional couples, and intensely ecstatic teachers, trying to refrain from rolling her eyes. As she reached the door, a group of juniors trampled over her, eager to leave school. Her backpack was somehow off her back and thrown to the ground, her empty binders and half-used notebooks strewn all over the school steps. She cursed loudly as someone stepped on her hand with a heavy, dirty boot.

After the stampede had passed, she crawled to her backpack and picked up her things, hoping no cheesy dork would come and help her. She always hated cliche teen romance movies where the clumsy, lovesick girl would drop her stuff and be fascinated with her jock crush helping her pick up a pen. Thankfully, the school was nearly empty, so there were no such idiots to annoy her.

"Emma?" a voice sounded behind her.

Emma turned to see her mother toting a stack of paper and books.

"Oh, here mom, let me help you with that." Emma shouldered her newly full backpack and took the top half of the tipping stack.

"Thanks, honey. I didn't expect this much to take home." she said, readjusting the pile in her arms.

"I thought you didn't have classes today, since the seniors are gone." Emma remarked.

"Oh, well, after you left I decided to clean up my room for the year, and then Mr. Gold hurried in, saying that he heard I was here, and asked if I could substitute for Mrs. Lucas, since she ran off for a family emergency or something. Now I'm stuck grading her papers, too." she nodded at the stack in her hands.

Emma nodded. She wouldn't have noticed if her mother left for school, since all of her classes were in the afternoon and she didn't leave until after lunch.

"Did you fill out that application yet?" Mary-Margaret asked, spotting her car in the parking lot and walking towards it.

"Yeah, I did after my English final. Mr. Hopper nearly threw me out of class because he saw me writing after I turned in my final. Apparently, he said, he had to assume I was passing answers to another kid. As if I would help anyone else! I don't care if they graduate." Emma shrugged.

Mary-Margaret laughed, "So, did you get kicked out?"

"No. After I showed him what I was doing, he calmed down and said that he still 'had an eye on me'. That application was pretty short, though. Only my name, date of birth, stuff like that. The only work I had to do was write a few sentences on why I want to go." Emma said.

"What did you say? That your mother has been pestering you for years to go to one and you finally rolled your eyes and said, 'Fine'?" Mary-Margaret mimicked Emma's defeated look that morning.

"Of course not! Then they would never let me in. Instead, I wrote the most generic paragraph ever, stating that I wanted to become a better leader or whatever-"

"Or whatever?"

"You know what I mean, mom. Anyway, I think it's promising enough. When we get home I'll stick it in the mailbox." Emma said.

"The mailbox? This is the twenty-first century, Emma. We'll just scan and email it." Mary-Margaret shifted her pile of papers to one arm to unlock the car.

"Oh, okay. But before we do that, you need to sign it and write down my insurance info." Emma carefully set her stack in the backseat.

"Insurance? What will you be doing?" Mary-Margaret set her stack down next to Emma's.

"I don't know. Some water stuff, I think." Emma said.

"Well, just promise me you won't get hurt so I don't have to pay an outrageous hospital fine, okay? Now get in the car, aspiring leader." Mary-Margaret slid into the driver's seat.

Emma ducked into the passenger seat and threw her backpack on the floor, shutting the door. Mary-Margaret started up the car, pulling out of the parking lot.

She then noticed something, "Emma? What's that on your hand?"

Emma looked down at it, sighing when she saw a bruise spreading across her knuckles, "Some stupid junior stepped on it today. I didn't know boots could weigh half a million freaking pounds. He didn't apologize or even look back."

"I'm sorry, honey. We'll get that checked out at home. Who was he? Maybe I'll accidentally slip up and he'll fail his final." Mary-Margaret shrugged.

"You wouldn't do that, mom. Besides, I had no idea. Some long-haired, C-average, cigarette smoking kid, I bet." Emma scoffed.

"Probably. About half of my classes meet those descriptions." Mary-Margaret laughed.

The car was silent for a while, and the scenery outside flew by, with the occasional group of friends out for the summer. Emma tapped out a rhythm on her jeans, humming out a melody in her head. She had always been interested in music, and had played the drums since she was in second grade. She had never joined the band, though. That gave her a "geek" reputation, and she had worked hard to keep herself at a steady neutral.

"You know, you don't really have to go to that camp if you don't want to, Emma." Mary-Margaret said.

Startled, Emma looked over at her mother, surprised at the remark. "Oh, yeah, it's fine. It'll give me a chance to get out of Storybrooke for a while anyway. I'm not at the best of terms with Ruby and Belle right now. Maybe I'll meet some new nerdy friends or something."

"That's the spirit! We can even go out of town this weekend and get you some new clothes or stuff like that." Mary-Margaret was obviously pleased at her daughter's response.

Her mother's optimism rubbing off on her, Emma felt better the rest of the way home.


	3. Chapter 3

The ride up to the camp was grueling, with many swerving stops on the side of the road to allow Emma space to empty her stomach of whatever she just recently ate. Sweet as her mother was, her driving was definitely... questionable. Mary-Margaret had always been better at riding horses, for whatever reason. Emma's new clothes and few books were placed neatly in her red suitcase in the back, and her small phone was pocketed snugly in her jeans. The scenery was fine, but if she looked too long at it, the blurred greens and browns made her stomach twist and her chest tighten. She knew the 4-hour ride would be long, but she didn't expect it to _feel_ as long as it did. Her mind focused on the awful 70's music streaming from the radio, and she tried to sleep to make time move faster.

Finally, _finally,_ a sign popped up on the road, marking the town the camp was supposed to be in. Emma bit back the urge to cheer, knowing her mom would probably be offended. Emma hurriedly packed up all the empty wrappers and plastic bottles, throwing them into a bag to leave in the car. Nearly throwing up again from the nerves, she and her mom searched the town for the college the camp was on, referring every now and then to the map they printed out that morning.

All too soon, the buildings were looming in front of her, and her mom was opening the door to retrieve Emma's suitcase.

"Mom? Would it be rude if I said I wanted to go back now?" Emma stepped out of the car and joined Mary-Margaret by the trunk.

"Yes, honey. I drove you all this way; you wouldn't make me take an eight-hour round trip for nothing, right?" Mary-Margaret stated, setting the suitcase on the pavement in front of Emma and shutting the trunk.

"Yeah, I guess so." Emma mumbled.

"Just have fun, okay? It's only for four days, and I think you can survive. The brochure said lots of nice things." Mary-Margaret said.

"Brochures always say nice things, mom. What they don't mention are the overly excited counselors, the annoying roommates, and the scratchy toilet paper." Emma sighed.

"It'll be fine, Emma. Now give me a hug and get in there." Mary-Margaret opened her arms expectantly.

Emma gave her mother a quick hug and stood rooted to the spot, holding her bags and gulping not-so-quietly.

Mary-Margaret gave her daughter a shove, "I said go, Emma. I'll see you in four days. Just give them that Swan charm and they'll worship you."

Laughing, Mary-Margaret got in the car, shut the door, and started the engine. With a final wave at Emma, she pulled out of the parking lot and disappeared around the corner.

Taking one final breath, Emma shook her head and walked toward the faded brick buildings, dragging her suitcase behind her. _So far, so good_ , Emma thought to herself, _no people, no happy faces._ She glanced back at the parking lot, desperately hoping her mom would still be there, yet knowing she wouldn't.

"Hey!" a chipper voice sounded suddenly behind her.

Emma let out a short shriek and dropped her bag, twisting around to find a blue-shirted woman who was definitely _not_ there before.

"Oh! Sorry I scared you, blondie. I just saw you standin' out here and I thought, 'Better show her where she's supposed to go.' Ya looked lost, looking 'round like that." her Southern accent rang in Emma's ears.

After Emma said nothing, the woman picked up her suitcase and took her elbow, "C'mon, I'll take ya to registration. My name's Beth, by the way. What's yours?"

It took Emma a second to realize she had asked her a question. "Oh, um... Emma. Emma Swan."

"Nice to meet ya, Emma." Beth let go of Emma's elbow and gave her a little shove.

As Beth continued talking, Emma allowed her mind to wander to how her shoes looked very manly, how she didn't brush her hair that morning, and why that girl's perfume managed to penetrate every corner of her nose. Her bag felt very heavy on her shoulders as she walked through the doors to find herself in a room of similar blue-shirted, recent high school graduates. Trying hard not to smack everyone in the room, she managed to collect her dorm key, her lanyard, and lose Beth in the process.

Letting out a breath, she climbed the stairs to her dorm, hoping on All Things Almighty that there was an error in her favor, allowing her a room to herself.

The lock on her door clicked, and she pushed it open to be greeted with the scent of a cheap cleaning spray. Her eyes hurriedly scanned the room, and to her great relief, there was no one in it. She threw her bags on the floor, checked the bathroom, checked the closet, and finally sat down on a bunk with a smile. Now she just had to hope no one would come in later.

After a moment of enjoying the quiet in her simply furnished room, she stood up and started to organize her things. Pillow on the bed, clothes in the dresser, books on the desk, empty bag on the floor. A satisfied Emma on her bunk, scrolling through Facebook.

It was almost time to report to her first "activity", and Emma was sure she was in the clear. She slid out of her bunk, pulling on her lanyard and pocketing her room key, and started to open the door when she heard a click and it was pushed back on her. She stumbled back and stared incredulously as two girls, obviously best friends, shoved their way through.

"I know right? I couldn't believe- oh, hey there. Excuse us. So, Merida, do you want the top or bottom?" one girl pushed past Emma.

"I dunno. You pick, Elsa." the other girl said, dragging a duffel bag behind her.

"I guess I'll take the top. I'll wander otherwise." the pale blonde stated.

"Then I'll take the other bottom." the redhead shrugged, "And hi, by the way, my name's Merida and this is Elsa." she held out her hand to Emma.

"I'm Emma." she said simply.

"Cool. Sorry we're late." Merida went over to the other bed.

"We probably tricked you into thinking you had a room all to yourself, huh?" Elsa said from the top bunk, arranging her bed sheets.

"Yeah, you did." Emma fingered her lanyard.

"Well, you're one lucky duck, because me and Elsa here are both veterans to this Optimism Brain-Wash Fest." Merida tapped Emma on the nose as she went to shove her clothes in the bottom drawer of the dresser. "We know all the tricks and cheats in the book."

" _And_ all the people to avoid. You'll want to know that, too." Elsa said.

"Which is practically everybody, to give you a hint." Merida added.

"We've been going here for how long, Merida?" Elsa asked.

"Including this time, seven years." Merida replied.

Emma whistled quietly, astounded at how they could have taken this crap all these years.

"After three years of hell, we decided to figure out how to survive here. And now you get to know too! First time here?" Elsa leaned over the railing to look at Emma.

"Yeah. My mom has been on my case for my entire life to go to one of these." Emma said.

"We know how that goes, sister. Our mothers make us go to every single "educational camp" they can find out about. Even if it's a freaking ten hour drive up there!" Merida pushed her bag under her bed and grabbed her key and lanyard. "Ready to go, Elsa?"

"Just a sec." Elsa threw her bag off of her bed and climbed down after it. "Ready," she said after her bag went under the bunk as well.

"Then let's make this weekend our bitch!" Merida laughed and opened the door.

 _These people aren't too bad,_ Emma thought to herself, _I might even end up being their friend!_

 _Well, what a concept, Swan._


	4. Chapter 4

To say the least, the camp introduction was incredibly boring. Almost nauseating, in fact. People of various ages, always with a huge, fake, I-practice-this-smile-in-the-mirror grin, walked up on the platform, giving long speeches about kindness and competitiveness.

 _I'm a little teapot, short and stout._

The song suddenly popped into her head without permission.

 _Here is my handle, here is my spout._

Emma shook the tune out of her head quickly, trying to stay awake.

 _When I get all steamed up, here me shout._

She literally almost pounded her head on the floor.

 _Just tip me over and –_ _ **holy shit**_ _!_

Emma sat up in her seat and rubbed her eyes vigorously. _Did I just see that? Who... what...?_

Her mind worked a thousand miles an hour as she spotted the most gorgeous creature who had ever walked the earth.

Emma sat rigidly, eyes fixed on the girl a few rows in front of her. Her hormones soared to astronomical heights as she took in the beauty before her.

 _This is just the back of her freaking head, Emma! Calm down, dammit!_

The girl was just sitting, watching the presentations.

"Emma?" Merida whispered and nudged Emma's arm. "What's up? I've seen anyone so engaged in this load of crap."

Emma cleared her throat and tried to look away, "I... uh, head... not really... I saw, I... teapot... sleepy..."

Merida laughed quietly, "I'd know that face anywhere. Who is it? If it's that muscled guy over there, forget it. He's mine. I've had my eye on him the whole time."

"Um... no, I..." Emma mumbled.

Elsa leaned over, eager to join the conversation, "The blonde behind us is _killer_. I claimed him from the beginning."

As Merida and Elsa debated over who was cuter, Emma resumed to looking at the brunette.

 _Short hair, regal pose, actual interest in this speech..._ Emma listed off what she could. _This isn't good, Swan. She's here for a reason, unlike you. She probably has a butler, and fancy dresses, and sports cars in her backyard, for Christ's sake._

With a distraction, the briefing went much faster. Within what seemed like a minute, everyone was suddenly standing up and heading to dinner.

"C'mon, slowpoke. If you want all the good stuff, you'll have to be first in line." Elsa grabbed Emma's arm and pulled her up, taking off after Merida. Emma reluctantly tore her eyes from the girl and ran behind Elsa.

The food was actually great, if Emma was being honest. Mashed potatoes, meatloaf, buttery corn. It was much better than the cafeteria food she was expecting.

She sat at a table with Merida and Elsa, careful not to wolf her food down like an animal.

"What do you think so far, Emma?" Elsa asked with mock sincerity.

"I don't know. I'm contemplating the wise words of the speakers today, revising my goals for my bright future." Emma stated sarcastically.

"Smart choice. I, myself, am chewing my food with a new outlook on life, dwelling on the meaning of green bean casserole." Elsa nodded.

"I'm bored as hell." Merida said honestly.

They all laughed and Emma smiled, knowing she had just found two friends she could agree with.

Her happiness lasted only a few seconds, though, before she spotted the brunette again, in line for food with a few of her – probably rich – friends. Her throat went dry and her stomach clenched. _Go back to your food, Emma. Focus on your friends. She means nothing to you._

As much as she tried to convince herself, she couldn't keep her eyes off the girl. Her fork was hovering over her food, still holding an uneaten helping of mashed potatoes.

Then, before she knew it, the unthinkable happened. The girl and her rich friends had gotten their food, (Emma noticed there were much smaller portions on their plates and looked down at hers disgustedly) and were walking over to her table. She noticed the three empty seats at their table a little too late.

"May we sit here?" the girl said.

 _Her voice. Oh my god. It's like... like a Chocolate Lioness With The Vocal Chords Of A Sex Angel._

"Yeah, sure." Merida piped up, glancing at Emma with confusion.

"Thanks." she sat down with her two friends, and then they were eating.

 _See, Swan? They're eating like normal people. Turn your hormones off! Now!_

"Oh, by the way, my name's Regina, and this is Marian and Kathryn."

 _Regina. Regina. Damn you, Regina. Stop being an object of pure beauty from hell, Regina. God, I love your name. Your rich name. Regina, the Queen._

Merida introduced them, "I'm Merida, and this is Elsa and Emma."

Marian and Kathryn waved briefly, then returned to their food. The looks they threw each other said more than enough for Emma.

 _They think they're hot stuff, with their designer jackets and expensive jewelry. Me, I'm just in jeans and a t-shirt I got from my mother._

"Well, how do you guys like it so far?" Elsa said, trying to get a conversation rolling.

Regina shrugged – _perfect shoulders –_ and looked at her friends – _perfect eyes._ "I don't know. This was just something to do besides sitting on a stupid boat in the Caribbean." she said, forking a tomato from her salad.

 _Rich. I knew it._

Merida and Elsa stared incredulously at each other, and Marian and Kathryn snickered behind their hands.

Regina picked up on her friends' reactions and continued, trying for more laughs, "Yeah, we tried to plan a vacation in Paris, but France turns out to be a drag. I mean, the Eiffel Tower, seriously?"

Marian could barely contain her laughter, and Kathryn just smiled smugly.

"Did you hear about our Country Club, Regina?" Kathryn asked. "They lowered the staff to two hundred, and the laundry service was anything but satisfactory. We just _had_ to go to the one in England for a couple months before we could move to Italy."

Marian joined in, "My mother just recently got herself a private plane. She didn't get one for me! I mean, are you freaking kidding?"

By now Merida and Elsa were fuming, and Emma could only barely compose herself.

"What about you guys? Any downsides to your summer?" Regina asked with mock politeness. Another round of laughs from her friends.

"Let's go, guys." Elsa said, standing up. "I don't think we _middle-class_ are welcome here at Bitches-R-Us."

Emma picked up her plate and stood up, still completely aghast. _How could she? Regina, my goddess, my queen, an absolute asshole? You knew it was too good to be true, Swan. Let it go._

"Have fun!" Regina called out after them sarcastically.

Their laughter rang in a very defeated Emma's ears.

 _Face it, Emma. You will forever be single, hopelessly gay, and, according to Regina the Bitchy Beauty, near poverty._

 _Damn you, Regina._

 _Damn you._


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks for the follows and favorites! They're much appreciated, I can assure you. This chapter, we may get to be seeing a different side of a few people, which will be interesting, I hope! A little bit of angst, and a little long, but it'll get brighter, I promise!

…..

Emma was sitting in her bed, mulling over (well, more like _pouting_ over) the days events when her phone buzzed in her pocket. She slipped it out and stole a quick glance at it to see that it was her mother. Looking over at Merida and Elsa, she decided to step out into the hall to avoid being ridiculed for her mom being her only friend.

"Hello?" Emma said softly when she shut the door behind her.

"Hey, honey! How's it going so far?" Mary-Margaret's chipper voice greeted her without hesitation.

"Fine, I guess." Emma stated simply.

"Oh, I need more details than that! Make any new friends? Are you having fun? Crushing on any guys?" Mary-Margaret pressed.

Emma had been meaning to tell her mother about her... inclination towards the same gender, but for now she left her in the dark, "Well, my roommates are pretty cool. Their names are Merida and Elsa, but I haven't really gotten to know them."

"That's nice. Is it too boring for you?" Mary-Margaret asked.

Emma decided against lying, "No, not really. It's... there are a few things holding my attention." Emma thought of Regina, The Image of Rich Perfection.

Mary-Margaret hummed her approval and then went on to say, "Well, the reason I called is to tell you some very exciting news."

Emma rolled her eyes and tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible, "Yes?"

"Guess who's not going to be an only child anymore?" Mary-Margaret's voice was practically bursting with anticipation.

"Who?" Emma asked without enthusiasm, not registering the question.

"You! You're going to be a big sister!" Mary-Margaret squeaked loudly.

Emma had to pull her ear away from the phone to avoid going deaf, and only then did she realize what the news meant. She hurriedly whispered into the phone, "Holy shit! You're _pregnant_?!"

"Emma! Language! But yes, that's what I'm saying. I've just been feeling kind of nauseous all the time, and so I bought a couple tests and they were positive! So I went to the hospital today and they don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet, because it's only, like, a few weeks into pregnancy, but the point is that you're going to have a younger sibling!" Mary-Margaret breathed excitedly.

Emma was speechless, "Uh... that's great mom.."

"Isn't it! Oh, I can't wait!" Mary-Margaret said.

Suddenly, a thought dawned on Emma, and she nearly fell over, right there in the hall.

 _Who the fuck is the father?_

For years now, her mother and father had been divorced, living on opposite sides of the country, with Mary-Margaret in full custody of Emma. As far as she knew, her mom hadn't been seeing anyone else.

 _Or has she? Would she had told me if she was? You can't just have a baby by yourself!_

"M-mom?" Emma stammered cautiously.

"Yes?" Mary-Margaret chirped.

"Um, who? I mean, like, with who? Like, how did... or when..." Emma sputtered.

It took her mother a few moments to figure out what Emma was trying to say.

"Oh."

Mary-Margaret fell silent at the other end of the line, and Emma could hear the quiet fizz of the connection.

For what seemed like hours, Emma stood there scuffing the carpet with her shoe, her palm growing sweaty on the phone.

"Well, Emma..." Mary-Margaret began, but she never finished her sentence.

"Mom, I'm kind of worried now. I won't be mad or anything, I... I promise." Emma said.

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask that question, sweetie, but I guess you're a little older than I'd like to admit." Mary-Margaret sighed.

"Yeah, I guess I am." Emma said.

"Do you really want to know, honey?" Mary-Margaret asked hopefully.

Emma thought for a moment, then said, "Yes, mom, I think I do."

"Okay. Then I guess I better just get on with it." Mary-Margaret took a deep breath, "So, earlier in the year," Mary-Margaret shakily began, "you were off with some friends for the night, and I was just sitting in the house, reading some romance book. Emma, you... um... know how people get when they read romance, right?"

"Yeah, mom, I get it." Emma flushed a deep red, grateful that no one could see her.

"Mm hmm. So I called up one of my own friends, and we decided to go out for the night. My friend was feeling a little adventurous, and I wasn't really... in the mood to stand in the way. We went out, had a few strong drinks, and I completely forgot about... everything. Before I knew it, a couple guys had come up to us, and I was feeling young... and then..."

"I know the rest, mom." Emma said, "Did you... at least catch a name?"

Suddenly, Emma heard a small sob come from the other end of the line, "No..." Mary-Margaret stammered, "No, and I'm really sorry, honey... I am. I just... we... and David had been gone for so long, and I couldn't handle it... and I know this sucks for you, Emma. I didn't expect anything to come from it at all, but then I felt the way I did, and I was so excited... and I didn't stop and think."

Now Mary-Margaret was openly crying, and all Emma could think about was her... rage. _Stop it, Emma. She's sorry, and maybe you'll be that way when you grow up... no. No I won't. Not after this. She doesn't even know who she fucking got pregnant with!_

"It's okay, mom." Emma lied, gritting her teeth.

Mary-Margaret sighed and said, "Just... focus on the stuff this weekend, okay? Don't let this bother you. Oh, Jesus, I shouldn't have even told you while you were away. Now that's all you're going to think about."

"No, it won't be." Emma lied again.

"I'll let you go, okay, sweetie? Have fun, and forget this." Mary-Margaret pressed, sniffing.

"Alright, mom. Good night." Emma said.

"Good night, Emma." Mary-Margaret hung up.

 _My mother's pregnant. I'm in love with an obviously straight girl. I'm stuck in this shit hole for four days._

 _Great._

And before Emma could stop herself, she was on the floor, head on her knees, crying.

For God knows how long, she sat there, crumpled against the wall, watching salty tears soak her jeans drop by drop.

 _Drop, by drop, by drop, by drop, by freaking waterfall, Swan. Pull yourself together! It's not your problem, it's not your problem, it's not your problem. People will see you!_

"Are you okay?" a voice said softly, and Emma immediately recognized it as her dream-brunette-girlfriend.

Emma lifted her head, and hurriedly wiped her face on her sleeve, "Yeah, I'm fine."

When Regina saw who it was, she murmured, "Oh, it's you."

Emma heart clenched a little, "Yeah, it's me. The poor girl who sleeps in a barn." she said spitefully.

"You know, I didn't think you guys would actually believe that." Regina sat down cautiously a couple feet away from Emma.

"Really? You certainly acted like you did." Emma said, hoping her face had returned to normal.

"I do a lot to impress my friends, alright? It's what I was taught." Regina said.

Emma scoffed.

"Look, do you want to talk about it? Because if you're just going to sit here and berate me for pulling a few jokes, then I'll just leave." Regina crossed her arms.

Emma was prepared to chew her out some more, but decided against it, "Promise you won't judge or anything?"

"Promise." Regina refrained from rolling her eyes.

"Okay. I just got a call from my mom, saying she was pregnant." Emma said, far too eager to spill.

Regina arched a perfect eyebrow in confusion, "And... that's bad news? Or were those tears of joy you were crying?"

 _Don't look at her, Emma. Don't look. Just talk._

"She doesn't know who the father is." Emma explained.

"Oh, my." Regina put a hand over her mouth.

 _Don't cover up that beautiful mouth, Regina._

"Does she... usually do that?" Regina asked.

"No! At least, she didn't tell me if she was..." Emma said.

"I'm... I'm so sorry, Emma." Regina hesitantly put her hand on Emma's thigh.

Firecrackers exploded in Emma's head, and her thigh felt like it was being electrocuted. _Calm down, Swan. Calm down. It's just a hand. She's straight. It's for comfort, not seduction, you idiot._

"I mean, it's okay, I guess. New baby! Cool." Emma sarcastically cheered.

"You don't have to be all malicious about it. But I have to admit, that really sucks." Regina took her hand off Emma's thigh to pull her hair back in a ponytail.

Emma immediately missed the warmth and whimpered a little in her mind.

Regina smirked.

 _She noticed! I did that_ _ **out loud**_ _? Jesus, Emma! Turn off the gay!_

"Is that all, Emma? I'm sensing a little..." Regina paused, "... tension." her eyes smoldered, and Emma nearly fainted.

 _Now she's messing with me. She's doing this on purpose! The nerve! What a... what a... jerk! What a gorgeous, manipulating, perfect..._

"Yeah, I think I'll leave you to your thoughts." Regina stood up and winked, walking back to her room.

 _She winked! She freaking winked! I am so deep in this shit!_

Emma got up a few seconds after Regina left, watching her open her dorm room and step in.

 _119, that's her room number. Just in case, of course._

Emma smacked her forehead on the door.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day, Emma felt like she was literally floating on a Regina cloud. Through every presentation, conversation, and debate, all she could think about was that hand, her hidden kindness, and that damn _wink_. Emma didn't see Regina that morning, yet still her heart was bursting anyway. Merida and Elsa had given up on trying to pry the reason for Emma's ecstatic mood out of her. Instead, they resorted to sleeping during the speeches, gossiping about their enemies, and making all the presenters look like idiots by asking complicated questions.

"Excuse me, sir, does being a leader also involve a fortified representation of the cognition to act responsibly in a time of great affliction and discomfited scathing?" Elsa had raised her hand and asked with an innocent composure.

"Um... well, I do _believe_ so. I don't really know-" the chosen speaker was messing with his tie.

"So you're suggesting we ameliorate our psyche to better this attribute?" Merida piped up, folding her hands over her lap.

"Uh... I _think_..." the man was turning a slight shade of red.

Emma remembered the snickers whispering throughout the room, and she had felt intensely sorry for the guy. He wasn't even getting paid to deal with this crap!

"So although the function of mere naivety is monumental, a utilization of a consequential persuasion is considered indispensable, isn't it?" Elsa asked sweetly.

The man had sort of looked around at the other adults for some assistance.

"Yes or no, sir?" Elsa pretended to become impatient.

"Y-yes," the man stammered, unsure if that was actually true or not.

"Okay then, thank you, mister." Elsa said.

Merida had held out her open palm next to her, and Elsa high-fived it. Emma knew they had practiced that charade with a thesaurus during last night's "quiet time" for at least an hour. She had decided not to join in and instead bask in the warmth of her lusting.

Currently, they were all sitting outside in the damp grass, waiting for a counselor and watching young freshman girls make a show out of not wanting to sit on the ground. "It's gonna get my _butt_ all wet!" they shouted, and the freshman guys offered to carry them for absolutely no reason at all except to maybe get a chance at touching their asses.

This time, Emma joined in the conversation happening between Merida and Elsa, and put in a few of her own thoughts.

"See that chick over there, Emma?" Elsa pointed over to a tall, pale, blonde girl sitting by a tree with some other people.

"Yeah, I see her." Emma said, squinting.

"Don't go around her. She's trouble. Always flirting, always putting the blame on someone else, always making new enemies. You'll see a guy beside her every day. Most likely, a _different_ guy." Elsa warned.

"Some of the younger freshman here will go outside her room door, and start rumors about what sounds she makes when she supposedly gets laid in there." Merida added, laughing.

"What's her name?" Emma asked.

Merida and Elsa exchanged glances, then said in unison, "Tinker Bell." They burst out laughing and looked over at the girl again.

"Seriously? That's her name?" Emma said incredulously.

"No, not really," Elsa said, looking away, "but her actual name is pretty close, as I recall. No one remembers it anymore. Everyone just calls her Tink now."  
"Wow." Emma said.

"Who else, Merida?" Elsa asked the redhead.

"Well, there's always Robin." Merida shrugged.

"Oh yeah, Robin Hood," Elsa said, turning back to Emma, "he's a junior, and he's been crushing on that bitch we encountered yesterday at the mess hall."

"Regina?" Emma asked. She had forgotten that Merida and Elsa still hated her.

"Yeah, her. Anyway, Robin has gone here every year that we have, and every time, he asks Regina out, or buys her something, and she always refuses." Elsa said.

"He's made quite a show about it," Merida said, trying to pick him out in the crowd, "One time, he wrote her a song and sang it in front of the entire group. Regina nearly killed him that day."

"Yeah, I remember that!" Elsa said, "And then another time, one of his friends... John, I think, dared him to go up to Regina and kiss her. She literally broke his nose and called him a dick when he did."

"Now _that_ was funny," Merida said.

"I didn't know she could do that!" Emma laughed.

"Nobody did. Speaking of Regina Mills, that's another one you shouldn't really hang around." Elsa said.

"Why not?" Emma asked, worried.

"Didn't you see enough of her yesterday? That should say plenty. I'm surprised I even let her sit at our table. I completely forgot." Merida shook her head.

"She's rich, she spoiled, and she has a lot of blackmail going around here." Elsa said.

"She doesn't seem _that_ bad," Emma made a half-hearted attempt to save Regina.

"But she is. She loves to tell her dad about _everything_ people "do to her". She'll complain to him, and then it's living hell for you, sister. Just don't get on her bad side, okay?" Merida said.

"I'll try." Emma said, turning away from the conversation.

 _I'm probably on her bad side already. I'm a freaking Swan._

… _..._

Emma was bored. _Really_ bored. Bored enough to sit on the edge of the tub in the bathroom and read the labels on her shampoo bottle.

 _Don't write a song for Regina. Don't kiss her. I'm learning from you, Robin. Thanks for your mistakes._

She checked her phone for the time. 5:28. The next "activity" didn't start until 6:15.

 _What to do.. what to do..._

All Emma really wanted to do was be with Regina. So she set down the bottle, fixed her hair in the mirror, and set off to make the trek down the hallway.

After standing in front of the door for nearly six minutes, Emma was about to head back.

 _God, this is stupid. Why would she even want to talk to you? She probably winks at everybody! Maybe I should wink at her. Maybe it's a fetish! I gotta wink!_

With renewed courage, Emma knocked on the door marked 119 in the middle.

The door swung open to reveal Regina, hair done up in a ponytail, eyebrows raised and ready to humiliate whoever was standing there.

"Uh... so... I am, well, I am... I'm-" Emma stuttered, suddenly realizing she had nothing to say to this beauty.

"Yes?" Regina asked sweetly, leaning on the door frame.

 _She's playing with you! Remember the wink, Emma. Two can play at this game._

"I was just wondering... if all the keys here are universal. I got locked out of my room." Emma said, more smoothly than she expected.

"Oh." Regina looked slightly disappointed, but she quickly masked it with a dazzling smile, "I don't think so, but let me check." She walked into her room and took her key off her desk.

Emma peeked in and said, "You don't have any roommates?"

"I have connections with people in this place." Regina said, bringing back her key.

Emma nodded and held out her hand, but Regina pulled it back, "I need proof that you just won't take it and run, Emma."

"Oh, um, well you could take mine until I return yours." Emma suggested.

"Deal." Regina handed over her key and waited for Emma's.

Emma pulled her key out of her pocket and handed it over.

"So... locked out of your room, huh?" Regina smirked, knowing she'd won, and pretended to inspect the key.

 _Oh, shit! You're such an idiot, Swan! You handed her the freaking key!_

"So why did you really come to see me, Emma?" Regina asked.

The wink totally forgotten, Emma looked down and nervously rubbed the back of her neck, trying to think of another excuse.

"You can trust me, you know." Regina took a step closer.

When the intoxicating smell of Regina's perfume ( _which smelled like apples and sex, Emma thought_ ) hit Emma's nose, she took an instinctive step back, "I gotta go," she said, hurriedly heading back to her room.

There were three things embarrassing about this move: one, she was a complete wreck, just because of the mere proximity to the woman. Two, it took all her self control to walk away, and Regina could probably see that. Three, she left her key in Regina's hands.

Emma turned around in time to see Regina walk back in her room.

And Emma couldn't leave this time.


	7. Chapter 7

With the grace and stealth of a large, blind elephant, Emma tip-toed back to Regina's room, not daring to enter just yet.

 _You could just wait outside your own room, then she'll have to get her own key eventually. But then Merida and Elsa might run into me... and that wouldn't be nearly as much fun._

So, with a shaky resolve, Emma stepped into room 119 and shut the door.

Regina was simply sitting on the floor, cross-legged, swinging the key from her finger lazily. "It's about time, Emma." she said.

"Can you give me my key back?" Emma asked, leaning on the door and holding Regina's key out in her own palm.

"I could've given you your key out in the hallway. You must know that I want something." Regina pointed out.

 _Ever the damn seductress._

"Look, um, we have to be at the common room pretty soon. So can you just please-"

"Could I please... what?" Regina interrupted and smirked.

"You know what I mean!" Emma was getting frustrated.

"I like it when you're mad." Regina whispered, standing up slowly. "Your face turns the shade of apples." she walked up into Emma's personal space, "And I like apples."

Emma took a deep breath. _This is not how this is supposed to be. You have to get out, Swan!_

With a self-control Emma didn't know she possessed, Emma snatched the key dangling from Regina finger and dropped the one she was holding. She hurriedly grabbed the doorknob, twisted it, and flew out the door, running down the hall and out of her view.

Panting, Emma leaned on a wall, clutching her stomach. _What did you just do? You denied sexy action from the girl of your dreams! Idiot!_ Counselors walked past, daring small glances her way. She ignored them and got up, pocketing her key. _What would Regina think about all this?_ Emma looked back, hoping she wouldn't see the brunette chasing after her. She wasn't. Maybe Emma would get lucky and not run into her for the rest of the weekend. Then she wouldn't have to deal with this shit anymore.

With a last shake of her head, she walked toward the common room, not really looking forward to listening to anymore inspirational speeches. Emma Swan didn't need inspiration. She needed a good, long nap, and a couple bars of chocolate.

…

They were all just getting to bed when the bad news hit. Well, bad news for Emma, but just gossip for everyone else. The announcement rang through the whole building:

" _Emma Swan, please report to the Head Counselor's Office. Again, Emma Swan, report to the Head Counselor's Office. Thank you."_

Emma's heart stopped beating, and she frantically ran her fingers through her hair and paced wildly. _What did you do? What did you do? Did they find the gum under my seat during the discussion? Is my mom okay? Who died? Did I brush my teeth enough?_

Emma started the walk down to the counselor's quarters. The head counselor's office was nestled in there somewhere, but she never thought she'd have to go in there. _Is it a he or a she? Are they scary? Will they rap my knuckles or some crap like that?_

She opened the door, rubbing her hands on her jeans, then searched the board for the room number of the office. Upon finding the location, she walked down the hall and turned at the right spot, knocking softly.

"Come in," a woman's voice said.

Emma pulled open the door and peered inside cautiously. For the second time that day, her heart stopped. There was a friendly-looking woman in a checkered shirt behind a desk, and in front of the desk sat none other than Regina Mills.

And some weird old guy next to her.

Emma shut the door and waited expectantly at the entrance.

"Go ahead and sit down, Emma." the woman said politely, "My name's Jennifer."

Emma sat down and looked around at the office. Regular white walls, bookshelves with nameless novels, clean carpet, and multiple mug circles on the desk.

"We have something to talk about, Emma." Jennifer said. "It's come to my attention that you may have some certain feelings for Regina here."

Emma furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Regina says you may have... attacked her." Jennifer said, trying to tread lightly.

At this point, Emma whirled to look at Regina. She had an innocent look on her face, but underneath, Emma could see the smirk. _She played me! Oh, that bitch! That must be her father next to her. Merida and Elsa warned me about her telling her father everything... she didn't like that I refused her... I got on her bad side..._

"Yes, miss, I was just sitting in my room when Emma barged in and tried to kiss me." Regina pretended to tear up.

"Oh, honey, it's okay." Regina's father patted her shoulder, "We're going to get this girl the right punishment." he glared at Emma.

"What's your side of the story?" Jennifer asked Emma.

"I... I..." Emma said. _I can't risk defying her with her father right there. Oh shit, I'm so screwed._ "I.. that's true." Emma hung her head in mock shame.

"Thank you for your honesty." Jennifer said, as if they were in a Candor court. "Now, of course, we have to take measures to make sure this doesn't happen again, don't we?" her voice was a sickly sweet.

"Yes." Emma murmured.

"I say she be sent home." Regina's father said matter-of-factly.

"Well..." Jennifer tried to protest.

"No." Regina's father said firmly. "I will not have my daughter in an unsafe situation here. I want her out."

"I acknowledge your wishes, sir, but-" Jennifer said.

"It's settled. She's going home tonight." Regina's father stood up, making the matter final. It was clear that he had a lot of power anywhere he went.

Emma sighed. At least she could go home.

Regina and her father left, and Jennifer continued to talk with Emma about arrangements. They'd get her home, and her mother wouldn't have to make another trip.

So Emma packed her things, with many sad stares from Merida and Elsa, and got in the van to go home.

While the car was bumping along the highway, Emma reached in her pocket for her phone, and with it, out came a small slip of paper:

 _Call me._

Emma nearly gasped and turned it over to find a number.

 _Regina's_ number.


	8. Chapter 8

When Emma was dropped off at her house, (after the driver getting lost about every two seconds in the Residential Maze of Crappy Roads) she hesitated at the gate. What would her mom say? She could see it now: the sad irony of the sweet mother who got pregnant at thirty years old with a nameless, ageless man in a one night stand, and the daughter who got kicked out of a weekend leadership camp for an alleged "sexual assault" that really never happened in the first place.

And, to add to the mix, there was Regina Mills. The girl who, quite possibly, would ruin or rule Emma's life for the rest of time.

Well, shit.

Walking up to her faded, white door attached to her faded, white house, Emma thought about her faded, white existence and realized how incredibly pathetic that sounded. She had to do something! Write a bestselling novel! ( _Impossible_.) Dive off a plane without a parachute! ( _Suicide_.) Kill a guy! ( _Jail_.) Date someone! ( _Ha_!) Call Regina!

( _Yeah..._ _ **no**_.)

Emma turned the knob, walked inside, tried not to think about the heavy slip of numbered paper in her pocket, and looked up at what she hoped to be a calm mother.

Unfortunately, calm mothers were only for daughters who weren't Emma Swan. Daughters who _were_ Emma Swan had better be damn well prepared for the slew of well-practiced, oddly true words pelting them in the face at a thousand miles an hour.

"Kicked out? _Kicked out?!_ " Mary-Margaret began, her face already beginning to turn a frightening shade of red, "I can't believe you, Emma! I was sitting here at home, grading God-awful essays and hoping you were having a better time than I was, and I get a call from that camp, saying you were being sent home for some kind of misconduct! What was it, Emma? What did you do? Did you do it on purpose to get out of there? You were there for a day! A _day!_ It couldn't have possibly been that bad! Who found out? Did you hurt someone? I swear, Emma, if you beat someone up, I'm going to have to seriously ground you. Of course, you're already grounded if you can't come up with some suitable reason for pissing someone off enough to get you sent home! What were you thinking? Were you mad because of what happened with me? That was _not_ the place to let out your anger, and you know it! You could have waited and confronted me face-to-face like a normal human being first! I'm sorry, okay? I already said that! Just tell me why, Emma. Why did you get sent home? What did you do?"

"I..." Emma decided she should just tell the truth, for once, "Someone reported me for sexual assault."

Mary-Margaret was stunned into silence, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"There was this... um... girl, and she claimed that I kissed her without permission." Emma explained.

Now Emma's mom was shocked for another reason. "...Girl?" she repeated quietly.

"Yeah." Emma said.

"You... kissed a girl?" Mary-Margaret asked.

"No! I didn't! None of it ever happened, mom. She just wanted me out of the camp, that's all. Her dad can get her anything she wants." Emma hurriedly denied.

"Are you being honest?" Mary-Margaret asked.

"Yes, mom! That's the truth! Nothing happened. Nothing at all." Emma said, kind of disappointed.

"Well," Mary-Margaret shook her head, "You're grounded from your video games for two weeks, okay?"

"Okay." Emma said, confused that the punishment wasn't something more.

"Just... go upstairs and..." Mary-Margaret turned around and headed toward her room.

Emma stood there, rooted to the spot. _What the hell just happened?_

She shrugged it off and headed to her own room, dragging her luggage behind her.

Once she was sitting on her bed, she remembered the paper in her pocket. She pulled it out and went over it again:

 _Call me._

But why?

Emma went to throw the number in the trash, then stopped. _Throw it away, Emma! She means nothing to you! Why aren't you ripping it up and shoving it to the bottom of the trashcan?_

With a sudden resolve, she held the piece of paper, punched the number into her phone, and let it ring.

And ring.

And ring.

And finally, Regina's voice echoed in her ear: _Hi! You've reached Regina Mills. Unfortunately, I couldn't answer your call, but I can certainly hear your message! Just leave one after this funny little beep and I'll get back to you as soon as my schedule allows! Thanks!_

Emma scoffed and waited for the "funny little beep", then said, "Hey, it's... it's Emma Swan, and I was just calling to... well, to see if the number worked? I guess? So... you're probably listening to some lame-ass speech right now, so I'll just go back to my fun life here being grounded and all... and maybe you can call me back when you feel like it or something... so... yeah. Bye!"

She hung up and groaned. _Why did you even do that, Swan? That was probably the worst message ever left in history! And now all you have left to do is wait and mull over your pitiful life!_

And so Emma waited.

She paced her room. She ate chips. She sang. She did pull-ups on her window frame. She ate more chips. She went to the bathroom. She scrolled through Twitter. She tried braiding her hair. She failed, and vowed never to do that again. She waited.

And after hours of doing nothing, her phone finally rang. At the first note of the Star Wars theme song, she accepted the call.

"Hello?" Emma said, maybe a little too quickly.

"Ooh, it looks like someone was waiting all day to hear from me." Regina purred, and Emma nearly swooned.

"Yeah. Did you get my message?" Emma asked stupidly.

"Yes, obviously. Did you think _I_ would call _you_ first?" Regina said.

"Well, maybe, I don't know." Emma said.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Regina asked.

"What? You wrote the freaking note that said "Call me"!" Emma said.

"Oh, yes, that's right." Regina laughed, "Well, I wanted to say that I did you a favor by getting you out of here."

"A _favor_? I'm grounded!" Emma protested.

"That's not really my fault, is it?" Regina said.

"Yes it is! You claimed I sexually assaulted you!" Emma said.

"Well, I was really pissed off! You liked me, and I liked you, and then you denied me my God-given right to kiss a Swan! I thought I was doing a really good job seducing you!" Regina said.

"You were..." Emma said, trying to comprehend Regina's words. _She liked me! And she admitted it!_

"I was? Then why didn't you give in to your lusting? You know I get everything I want! I wasn't used to that! There are probably a thousand other guys who would have given anything to be in your position!" Regina said.

"And that's what ticked me off, Regina! I knew I was just another pawn for you to play! I didn't want to be that person." Emma said.

"Oh." Regina said quietly, "But you weren't. Don't you get it? I've never dated a girl! Ever!"

"You haven't?" Emma asked.

"No!" Regina said.

"Well, then, I'm flattered. But now I'm here, and you're there, and you kind of screwed us over." Emma pointed out.

"Not necessarily. When I get out of this camp, I'm asking my dad to move where you are. Even though your town is pretty pathetic, it's always good to try new things, I guess." Regina announced.

"Seriously?" Emma asked.

"Yeah. And now I've got to go, we've got our final activity for the day. Call me tomorrow?" Regina asked.

"Sure." Emma agreed.

"Then see you later." Regina hung up.

Emma stared at her phone for a few minutes, and then, after hearing her mother, went downstairs for dinner.

At that moment, Emma Swan was the happiest girl on Earth.


End file.
